Challenge 200

So, my dear readers, I had abandoned you for a while. I was a little at a loss as to what to say. My life was mainly work and drinking. Which was fine. It was great, actually, I love my life. To recap I have been here almost 2 years now and I’ve done 3 shows.
1) The Best Christmas Pageant Ever- South East Tour
2) Henry V – Kill Mike Use, NYC
3) The Tempest – The Tempest Ladies, NYC

And, sad to say, I had until recently only gone to one audition and that was for Adam’s Henry V, so it hardly accounts. Auditioning for friends doesn’t really count.

In these 2 years I have gone through phases of submitting myself for things. When you sign up on Back Stage they send you daily alerts with lists of auditions for those types of show that you specifically are looking for. Most of the auditions for non-union straight plays are by appointment only. This means if you want to go to these auditions you have to “submit” yourself by sending in your headshot and resume. Usually this is done through e-mail but sometimes you have to snail mail your materials in. If the company is interested they will get back to you and give you an appointment to come audition. So in the 2 years that I’ve been here every 3 or 4 months I get on a big kick and submit myself for as many things as I can every day. Then I’ll fall behind and it’ll be a few months before I get around to submitting myself again. Even in this lackadaisical way, I’ve probably sent out hundreds of submissions. I’ve only ever gotten 2 positive responses. It feels a little bit like your just e-mailing into the great void and no one is actually looking at these things. The first response was from a Shakespeare company that later reneged and told me they had filled all their spots. The other was for last Monday for a kitschy off Broadway show.

So last Monday I went to my first real, true blue, NY audition and I fell on my face. Metaphorically, I fell on my face. But it’s okay, it’s still a good thing. Because I went to the audition. I have broken the seal. Now let’s open the flood gates. Get back on the horse and keep trying, hopefully each time it’ll get a little easier.
(I don’t normally rely on so many clichés in my writing.)
Afterwards I sent my friend Adam a text telling him how embarrassed I was. His response was “now go to 200 more” meaning that by 200 I wouldn’t be nervous anymore. I have decided to take this as a challenge.

I’ve been trying to find a way to make auditioning a game, a way to take the pressure off. If I make my goal “go to 200 auditions” instead of thinking of each one as the chance of a lifetime, it’ll make the whole process a little less horrific and easier on the nerves.

It’s been the plan for a while. Become an “audition whore”. Let’s really get the ball rolling on this thing and see what happens. Also I’ve been thinking about grad school a lot lately and the only way to get myself ready for that audition is to get as much experience auditioning as I can.

I have proven to myself that I can survive, I can take care of myself, I can be (for the most part) independent, and I can do it in this big ass, crazy, and yes even a little scary, city. It’s time for the next step. I’ve been feeling that way for a little while. It’s time for the next thing, the next part of my life to begin. And the next part of my life will be – professional auditioner.

So- The Challenge is . . . . 200 Auditions. I’m going to say a year. There are going to be some days where there are no auditions or I’m out of town. So 365 to do 200 auditions seems feasible. What prize do I win at the end? Hopefully a little more self confidence in this professional aspect of my chosen career. And maybe, just maybe, along the way there might also be a job.

I have now been to 2 auditions. The first one, as I told you did not go so well. For all of those who are thinking about coming to NY and don’t know what to do when you get here, or for those that are here and are still trying to figure this out, let me illuminate things for you.

When you get an appointment, sometimes they might ask you to come in with a monologue or two and/or sometimes they might give you sides. I was given sides. This means that they sent me a couple of pages of the script that highlighted the particular character I was auditioning for. These particular sides were really easy, about 5 lines each, with no more than a sentence per line. I memorized them almost immediately.

It wasn’t the auditioning that made me nervous so much as the unknown. I was told to be there at 12pm. Was I going to be the only person there auditioning at that time, or were several people going to be in that time slot? What was the audition room going to look like? How many people was I auditioning in front of? Were members of the cast going to be there to read the other lines? Were other people that were auditioning going to read the other lines of the sides with me? Were the other lines just going to be read by one of the people holding the audition? If so, was I supposed to look at them and be in the scene with them, or was I supposed to look over their heads? Or at an imaginary person on stage with me? Was I going to be on a stage or was it just going to be a room? Do I dress the part or dress professional? Was I supposed to memorize the lines? Should I hold the sides in my hand even if I have it memorized? Is there someone I’m supposed to check in with when I get there? Do I sign in or something? Is there someone I’m supposed to give my headshot and resume to, or do I give it to the people in the room? These are all the unknowns I was looking at, and then some.

So I get there and it turns out several people are auditioning during that time slot. There were other girls obviously auditioning for the same character as me, and a couple guys who were all auditioning for the same character as each other. After a few minutes I finally ask the guy who was sitting behind a table and telling people who is next in the order of auditions if I’m supposed to check in with him. Turns out I was. He was also the one I gave my headshot and resume to. None of that was so bad, it’s always kind of fun to see who amongst your fellow auditioners are chatty, who is shy, who decides to warm up, that sort of thing. I was actually in a really good mood. I was just so happy to be there. I was at an audition! I had made it. I had shown up! Miracle! It wasn’t until right before I went in that I got nervous. Because I still had no idea what to do. I still had no idea what the room looked like or who was in there or where I was supposed to stand.

Finally the guy I gave my headshot to, the audition monitor, if you will, said it was my turn, but he came in the room with me because he needed to give the people the next batch of resumes. Finally I see the inside of the room and it’s a very small theatre with 3 people sitting in the front row. I assume I’m supposed to go on stage but I get jammed up standing awkwardly behind the guy handing them the new batch of headshots. One of the women motions me onto the stage, I awkwardly get up there and stand. The woman asked me something that I couldn’t hear over the kafuffle with the headshots, and when I didn’t answer she raised her eyebrows and asked again in a louder voice that made it clear she was slightly offended I hadn’t answered her. She was asking how I was today. I think I said GREAT, and then most likely forgot to ask how all of them were doing. She said great and then told me which side she wanted me to do and to start when I was ready. I said okay and then did not take the time I really needed to gather myself and started. I could not get those freaking easy lines out of my mouth in the right order to save my life. Then I was supposed to sing a hymn they asked me to prepare, it’s a Catholic Hymn, and as I’m Protestant I had really never been exposed to that particular song much. I thought I had it down though. But as soon as they asked me to sing a section of it the melody flew out of my head and I warbled tunelessly for entirely too long. Finally I stopped, they said thank you for coming, I think I mumbled Thanks back, and then practically ran out of the room.

Embarrassing, right? But now I know. I know a little bit more what to expect and it won’t be so hard next time.


So #2 was that same week and it was at the . . . dun, dun, DUN . . . Equity building. The Equity building is on 46th in between 7th and 6th avenue, and since that’s my area of town it makes it even sadder that I had never set foot inside this building.

I should probably explain that this audition was an EPA, and I should probably explain what an EPA is. EPA mean Equity Principal Audition. That means this audition is for Equity members. Non Equity people can show up and sign up for an audition (put their name down on a list) but that doesn’t mean that you’ll actually get to audition, or as we in the “biz” call it, it doesn’t mean that you’ll “get seen”.
Here’s what I knew about the Equity Building before I went to the audition. I knew that non equity people were not allowed to wait in the Equity lounge or use the Equity bathrooms. We have to go to McDonald’s or the Time Square Visitor Center if we want to use the bathroom. In my head, with the stories that I’ve been told, I actually thought that I was going to be waiting in a line outside the building. I thought I would go inside to sign up for the auditions but that I wasn’t actually allowed to wait inside. I had come prepared with a giant bottle of water, peanuts, and sun screen. It turned out not to be as bad as all that.

But when you walk in, especially when you have no idea what you’re doing, it’s still a little intimidating. You walk in the building and all visitors have to be announced so they make you look in this little camera and say your name, and then you can go upstairs. I didn’t know there was an actual stair case that you were allowed to use so I took the elevator, which is stupid because it’s one floor up. But it’s a good thing I did because otherwise I would have gotten really lost.

So you get off at the second floor, there’s this doorway, and in front of you is a little desk behind a window almost like you would see at a doctor’s office. But it doesn’t have any sign on it saying what it is for, or what function the person sitting behind the window serves. To your right is a small desk with a person sitting behind it guarding what appears to be a very large waiting room. I figured that was probably the Equity lounge that I wasn’t allowed in to. In front of you is a board that has signs on it that say what auditions are happening and what room they are in. To your left is a hallway with a bunch of benches lining the walls, and that hallway leads to the staircase (ah, there it is!). So I spent a couple minutes walking up and down that hallway trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. I mean, there was a sign that said what room the auditions I was going to was in, was I supposed to go sign up at that room? If so, I couldn’t seem to find the room, and there were no signs pointing the way. Finally I decided that the nice looking woman sitting behind the desk guarding the Equity lounge was probably the Equity Monitor, and that the Equity Monitor would probably know what the hell I was supposed to do. So I walked up to her and told her that it was my first time, what I was there for, that I was non-eq and didn’t know what to do. She was very nice. She told me that behind me (I hadn’t thought to look at that wall!) was the non-eq sign up sheet for the different auditions happening. She didn’t know for sure if they would be seeing non-eq people today, but she would be updated throughout the day. After I signed in I could wait on the benches in the hallway. So easy. And a lot more comfortable than I thought it would be. I can wait on a bench in an air conditioned building for as long as you want me to. And everyone else sitting with you is non-eq and in the same plight that you are, so everyone is very nice to each other and if you need to make the trek to the bathroom and want to leave your stuff, the person on the bench next to you will watch your stuff. It really wasn’t so bad at all.

However I would like to talk about a little AUDITION ETIQUETTE. This is not for the actually audition, when you get into the room, this is for when you are waiting with your fellow actors. One of these things I learned in like middle school chorus and another I just thought was common sense.

The girl sitting on the bench to my left did what a lot of women do when they go to auditions, they brought a change of clothes. This is smart, especially in the summer when you’re going to soak through your clothes just walking to the audition. So she changed into her clothes and did her makeup at the bench beside me. I don’t care about that. What I do care about is the fact that she decided to put lotion on her legs. She was in a knee length skirt, she didn’t want her legs to look ashy, fine, I don’t give a damn. I care that she used SCENTED lotion. And I mean strongly scented lotion. And sense I was sitting next to her it was almost over powering. That’s just rude, rude, rude! Not to mention the fact that when I was in high school doing shows at RLT we couldn’t wear fragrances when we performed because one of the other girls was allergic to that sort of thing.

And then, that same girl, sat with her headphones in and hummed tunelessly the whole time. If you’re there to audition for a musical, which she was, go ahead and warm up. I would rather you belt scales next to me then lightly hum nothing in particular in no particular key for 5 hours straight! Ugh! Rude. So I recommend not doing that when you go to an audition.

So, other than, that, how did the audition go? It didn’t. A little before noon the guy came out and said they definitely wouldn’t be seeing non-eqs before lunch, and to come back at 2pm. So I went home, got some lunch, bought my midnight Harry Potter tickets, and came back at 2pm. At about 2:30pm the guy came back out and announced that they would not be seeing any non-eq people that day. So I went a killed time walking around and at Starbucks till I had to be at work. Oh well, them’s the brakes. Am I still counting this as an audition even though I didn’t get seen? You bet. Why? 90% is showing up, and I showed up. Also, I learned a whole lot, so that was helpful.


#3 ~ 2 diff auditions turn into one, be nice to the equity monitor, everyone is nice, is this my stapler?, extra copies of head shots and resumes, and don’t be afraid to move the chair (that moment of extra time)

This past Monday I had 2 different auditions I was going to go to. One was an EPA at the Equity building, the other was about ten blocks away at a theatre near Penn Station. My friend Emily had been staying with me for the weekend and was heading back to Boston at around 10am that morning, her bus was leaving from near Penn Station. So I decided to go to that one and sign up first, we’d go early and after I’d signed up we’d get some food and I would leave her in the right place for her bus to pick her up. So we did that, I left, decided it was too hot to walk the 10 blocks, and took the subway to the Equity building. I got there, I walked in, I saw the sign saying that they were not seeing any non-eq people, turned around and walked right back out. I got back to Penn in time to see Emily on to her bus and then went back to the other audition.

Now, when I went in at 9am to sign up I asked the Equity Monitor, lovely gentleman, if he knew if they were seeing non-eqs today, he said he didn’t know yet but to check back after 10am. Well I got there at, like, 10:15 and not only were they seeing Non-Eqs but they had passed me on the list. Well, that was a welcome surprise. He just signed me up at the bottom of the list, which was only a few names past where they were when I got there, so it wasn’t that bad. I ended up waiting till about 12:30, maybe a bit before, then a group of about 5 or 6 of us was called to wait outside of the door to the audition room, then one by one we went in.

So what I learned this time is – BE NICE TO THE EQUITY MONITOR. This should be a no brainer, and Adam’s told me before that the people you are audition for will talk to the Equity Monitor afterwards to see if the people they want to hire are divas. There was an older woman there who was giving the guy a hard time and it was just unnecessary.

I also learned that you should always bring more than one headshot. The backstage listing just said we should bring one, but when I got there the Equity monitor was asking if people had two. Now I was lucky, I had 3 already prepared (as in stapled together and everything) because I thought I was going to that other audition. Regardless of which I always carry around a whole bunch of resumes and the very few headshots I have printed whenever I go to an audition. You just never know what’s going to happen. And it seemed like several people had some extra copies that weren’t stapled together, and the girl sitting next to me just happened to have a stapler with her, and she willingly shared it with everyone. But there were several people who really just had one with them. Now they can’t be penalized for that as they were told they only needed one, but let this be a lesson to you – ALWAYS BRING EXTRA COPIES OF YOUR HEADSHOT AND RESUME STAPLED TOGETHER.

Then, of course, there was the actual audition itself, which went much better. This was a “prepare a 1-2 minute monologue” sort of deal. So I have my handful of contemporary and handful of classical monologues that I’ve been doing for years. This already means I’m much more comfortable, because I know these monologues. It’s not just that I’m confident in the memorization, it’s that I know the acting is there. I know that these monologues are varied and layered, that I can hit each beat and each moment and each change of thought and hit it well. I know it’s a good presentation. I also love the material, a lot, which always shows through (I think). However, the nerves were still there. I still wasn’t exactly sure how it was supposed to work, see. But this is how it went down – I went in and signed up. About 20-30 minutes before a group of people go back to audition he calls out the names of the people who will be in their group and ask for their headshots and resumes. Then he tells you it’s time to go back, and calls out the names in the order you should go in. Then you go to the hallway in front of the room where you audition and wait some more.

That’s when the nerves happened. What I decided to do this time, instead of fighting against the nerves, was let the nerves happen. When I was in college and had really bad anxiety attacks my friend Stephanie would tell me to just let them happen. She had just gone through a similar period in life, and told me that if you just let the panic attack happen, then it was over and you could move on. So that’s what I decided to do with the nerves. There were a couple more people before me so I just stood up straight, stared at the wall, took a deep breath and let the nerves have me. I acknowledged the nerves, I let them happen, I breathed through them, and then they went away. It’s similar to the way I deal with ghosts.

Then I went in to the room and I was still nervous, but this was a familiar set up. It just a room, there was a table and 3 people were sitting behind it. There was a chair in front of the table, too, kind of in the middle of the room. I was glad to see this, it was something I had been wondering about. One of my monologues requires a chair and at all of the competitions and conferences I’ve gone to, and most of the auditions, they provide you with a chair in case you need it, but I didn’t know if they did such a thing in NY. I didn’t need it for this particular monologue, and I was so excited to be in the room that I didn’t think to move the darn thing, and ended up kind of performing around it, which was a little awkward. The overall audition went well. The greeting were exchanged, they confirmed my name, and asked what I would be doing for them, I told them, took my moment and started. They even laughed at my piece, but the other thing I learned (or reminded myself) was DON’T BE AFRAID TO MOVE THE CHAIR. I mean it was in the middle of the room, or my performance space, and I didn’t need to use it, I should have moved it. Plus, it’s another chance for interaction with the people behind the table, another small moment with them, and that can’t hurt. Taking the moment to say “Is it all right if I move this?” Shows them I’m charming and polite and gives me one more opportunity to flash them my pretty smile. It also shows them that I’m an actor who is aware of my space. So next time I’m going to move the chair.

So every time I go I learn something. Can’t wait to see what happens with #4.